Enable vs. Help

In my job I have to decide between help and enable, every day. I'll give you a couple examples from today:



I get a call from one of our Community Assistance volunteers (From here on we will refer to it as C.A. and him as Michael) OK, Community Assistance is where we give out groceries and try to connect people with the right agencies to help with their problems. Anyway I get a call saying that there is a woman who needs food because her boyfriend has just been arrested and she doesn't know what she is going to do. He asked If I could give her food and talk to her. I told him we give food on Monday and Thursday. But I would be happy to talk to her. He said she really needs food. Look, I have no intention of letting someone go hungry. But this woman comes to our C.A. and she knows the rules and she was here yesterday. If someone comes for the first time I will of course give them a little food. Anyway she came by smelling of alcohol and cigarettes. She said Michael said I would give her food. I told her that I could only give food on Mondays and Thursdays. She said OK and walked off. If she got food from us yesterday, can afford cigarettes and beer and I give her food today, that would be enabling her. Right?



Earlier a guy came to talk. He said he has a couple job interviews and needed a haircut. He was hungry but didn't ask for food. He is unemployed but didn't ask for money. He was out of gas but didn't ask for a gas voucher. He had to move from his room because he couldn't pay rent but didn't ask for a motel voucher. I asked him if he needed a shirt and pants for his interviews. And he said no. He was able to do laundry at his friends house. He asked me to tell him a place to get a haircut. That's all he wanted. nothing more. By the way Great Clips in Cypress has $4.99 haircuts. I gave him $10 and told him to put the extra towards gas. I think I helped him. Right?



OK, This woman came by and said she needed help with rent. She is only working part time. She has two teenage boys who fight all the time and a ten month old daughter. I couldn't pay $40.25 for a night. She was going to have to sleep in her car for the night, at least one night. If she doesn't find a place to stay for the weekend she'll be in her car with her 3 kids.



I don't know about you, but for me, telling the first woman no wasn't hard. Neither was giving someone $10 for a haircut. Sometimes I help, I usually try not to enable and sometimes I cry.

Today I did all three.



If you are in Buena Park tonight stop by. I could use a hug. Trust me that would be "help."



Robert