They say life is a roller coaster, not good…I don’t particularly enjoy roller coasters! In fact, I do not enjoy the feeling of not being in control. Yes, I have control issues, I know but mine tend to be over the edge strong issues. I don’t like skiing, the feeling of going super fast down a mountain and not knowing for sure I can stop before I break something. I don’t like river rafting, knowing any moment the boat can tip over and I am helpless in the water, and there is nothing I can do to control it. I don’t care for roller coasters, especially the ones that go almost straight down, the feeling of not being in control…
That feeling translates to our life right now. I look back 2 years ago and we knew “the plan.” We would get Kathryn through high school, and into college. We would sell our house with enough equity to pay off all of our debt, house, cars and credit cards with extra for a down payment on a cute little place in Globe. We had even gone so far to make an offer on a place there, so sure of “the plan.” We told everyone our “plan” and thanked God for what was to come.
Our 2 year turbulent, E ticket ride does not seem to be coming to an end anytime soon. As you know the economy has taken its toll on our families lives, jobs, and our home. Some say it is coming back, some say we have not seen the worst of it. Our bills have gone the opposite direction than what we had hoped, and there seems to be no end in sight. Our home has also gone so low that we cannot sell it now for even what we owe on it. The pay cut suffered through this whole process, placed a burden on us that has been heavier than imagined. So why am I being a Debbie Downer? Why am I recapping 2 years worth of pain and suffering? Am I concerned there are 38 more years to come wandering around in this desert? You BET I am!!
I can’t help but be human and admit that to God. I hurt and I feel pain and I am not perfect and I have made some huge mistakes and continue to do so. I am still seeking God’s direction, His purpose for us. I just want to follow; it is exhausting to be i
n the lead. This morning I read an e-mail from a church that friends of ours planted. Pastor Patrick Norris is speaking on Proverbs 16:9 “in his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.” He suggests there are choices to be made: try harder, pushing against closed doors, get discouraged, feel sorry for ourselves or blame others for our misfortune. All things I have done. Wish I were in NC to hear in person but I think I will watch online. (The next best thing)
I have a friend who is battling cancer and his wife said to me she felt so awful because the other night she was crying and so distraught she could not pray and it bothered her. I got the verse out Romans 8:26-27 “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.” I love that when I have bad days and cry and groan and can’t form the thoughts or words I want to say, He hears me. He knows my thoughts, feelings, hurts, pains; He knows my heart. So what I am remembering today is “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” Romans 8:18.
That feeling translates to our life right now. I look back 2 years ago and we knew “the plan.” We would get Kathryn through high school, and into college. We would sell our house with enough equity to pay off all of our debt, house, cars and credit cards with extra for a down payment on a cute little place in Globe. We had even gone so far to make an offer on a place there, so sure of “the plan.” We told everyone our “plan” and thanked God for what was to come.
Our 2 year turbulent, E ticket ride does not seem to be coming to an end anytime soon. As you know the economy has taken its toll on our families lives, jobs, and our home. Some say it is coming back, some say we have not seen the worst of it. Our bills have gone the opposite direction than what we had hoped, and there seems to be no end in sight. Our home has also gone so low that we cannot sell it now for even what we owe on it. The pay cut suffered through this whole process, placed a burden on us that has been heavier than imagined. So why am I being a Debbie Downer? Why am I recapping 2 years worth of pain and suffering? Am I concerned there are 38 more years to come wandering around in this desert? You BET I am!!
I can’t help but be human and admit that to God. I hurt and I feel pain and I am not perfect and I have made some huge mistakes and continue to do so. I am still seeking God’s direction, His purpose for us. I just want to follow; it is exhausting to be i
n the lead. This morning I read an e-mail from a church that friends of ours planted. Pastor Patrick Norris is speaking on Proverbs 16:9 “in his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.” He suggests there are choices to be made: try harder, pushing against closed doors, get discouraged, feel sorry for ourselves or blame others for our misfortune. All things I have done. Wish I were in NC to hear in person but I think I will watch online. (The next best thing)I have a friend who is battling cancer and his wife said to me she felt so awful because the other night she was crying and so distraught she could not pray and it bothered her. I got the verse out Romans 8:26-27 “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.” I love that when I have bad days and cry and groan and can’t form the thoughts or words I want to say, He hears me. He knows my thoughts, feelings, hurts, pains; He knows my heart. So what I am remembering today is “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” Romans 8:18.
Praising God!
*Kathryn is working at Kohl's and doing very well. She is dating a wonderful, Godly young man.
*Wayne just got a second job at Knott's Berry Farm working on the ferris wheel in Camp Snoopy, he loves kids and still dating Jamie who we all adore.
*Shelby is a sophmore and loving being in Choir and her life group at church.
We all are so sure of where we desire to be, in Arizona...
Your prayers for our family over the past 2 years have sustained us; Thank you will never be enough. Please continue with us in prayer on this journey. Let us know how we can be praying for you.
Your prayers for our family over the past 2 years have sustained us; Thank you will never be enough. Please continue with us in prayer on this journey. Let us know how we can be praying for you.
Liz
